Both… And…

(Previous blog post from April 18, 2023)

When I think about the last few years of my life, the phrase that seems to be most fitting is “both… and..”. Let me explain.

I tend to be very black and white. Either something is one way or it’s another, but not both. I think I am naturally wired that way, but I also think it is a protection mechanism. Black and white makes things clear, easy. It’s this or that.

One or the other. It’s less messy.

But it’s also isolating, divisive, harsh, intimidating, and self-focused.

God, in His gracious love for me, has used the last few vears of my life to tear down the walls of black and white to show me the beauty of gray.

Or as I like to call it. “both and..” It’s messv. It’s hard. It’s not clear and revues tust. But it truly

God, in His gracious love for me, has used the last few years of my life to tear down the walls of black and white to show me the beauty of gray.

Or as I like to call it, “both…and…”. It’s messy. It’s hard. It’s not clear and requires trust. But it truly is where real, vulnerable, togetherness, compassion, and feeling fully alive takes place. It’s where I am best able to meet, accept, embrace, and love myself and others well.

I would love to take a minute to share some

“both…and…”s with you. These are some areas in which I have been able to embrace the gray, the mess, the vulnerability to feel fully present and fully me. And even more than that, I have been able to more fully experience God.

This will be more of an overview, but in the coming weeks, I will unpack each of these “both… and’s a bit more. (And I threw a few trivial ones in there too, because things don’t always have to be serious. 😉)

Marriage is both really challenging and really transformative.

I can feel both deep sadness and indescribable peace at the same time.

Parenting is both overwhelming and beautiful.

Following Jesus is both hard and easy.

I can both absolutely love the summer and wish it was cooler at times.

Fitness can be both daunting and filling.

I can both love and cherish someone and place and uphold boundaries to protect myself.

Being vulnerable is both deeply scary and deeply freeing.

Adventure is both uncomfortably unpredictable and joyously exhilarating.

I can both love who I am and see areas I want to change and grow.

In one experience, I can feel both real strength and sincere weakness.

God is both endlessly gracious and infinitely just.

When I make a decision, I can be both sure and appropriatelv cautious.

Love can be both real and deep and change over time.

I can crave something both sweet and salty at the same time.

Just to name a few…

Both… and…

I think real connection, meaning, vulnerability, and life are found in the “both… and…”. The gray.

The messy. God uses the “both… and…” to deepen my trust and increase my dependence on Him. So the gray, the messy, for me becomes a place of greater freedom.

Even when it’s uncomfortable and I crave the known and sure, I’m going to push into the

“both… and…” because I don’t want to miss meeting God and what He may have for me.